Lent Day 12
When I think back to a time that was in my early thirties, I was a very spiritually immature person. Keep in mind, I had been going to church since 9 months before I was born. But my focus on life was happiness. I thought if I only could make a little more money, then I would be happy. If only I could get the next promotion, then I would be happy. Hardly ever did I ask my family if what I was doing was making them happy. (I knew what my wife would have said!)
The problem was, I was NOT happy. I realized I was not living a life that was honoring God. So, I began to fix that. I decided I would read the Bible more and pray more, and then I would be happy. Doesn’t God want us to be happy?
About a year later, a was still faithful in reading the Word and praying and being active in Church, and I was asked to be the next Youth Minister. After a time, I decided that would make me happy. And for a short time, it did. Then tension between me and my boss began to grow. And I was no longer happy. I tried to fix some of the problems in our church behind my boss’ back because it was things that “God wanted me to do.” But I grew more and more discontent and unhappy. I decided it was time to get out of ministry because I just couldn’t be happy in it.
As I tried to get out of ministry, an opportunity down the river 30 miles was offered to me. But first, I tried to figure out why I was trying so hard to be happy. What I learned was this. Being happy is an emotion that if we lean on it too much, it could replace the God whom we claim to be serving. Often, we make the mistake of thinking we have a heart for the Lord, when really we’re just thankful for him because at that moment he seems to be delivering to us what we have truly set our hearts on. Can I get an Amen?
What I was realizing is that God had given me joy in life, even though all the circumstances of my life were not perfect. He blessed me with a wonderful family, a very patient wife, a good job, some great friends and much more. But I was focusing on the things that were not perfect and either failing at making them perfect or worried about the attacks of the enemy. I was allowing all the negativity of the world to steal my happiness, the emotion I desired. But all along, there was joy if I would just trust God with my life.
David says in Psalms 51:17, “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; / a broken contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.”
My heart is broken. This world is broken. I will never find happiness from this broken world. But you are never in a safer, more blessed place than when your heart is broken and you finally surrender yourself to trust God in order to find joy.
In this season of reflection, confession, and willing sacrifice, how about looking at the evidence of your life?
- What is your current emotional state? Is there any negative emotion that is present in your life more often than it should be?
- If “our emotions are a window into what our hearts really love,” what do your emotions say about what you love?
- Think about the spiritual habits you engage in, perhaps even your devotional times—are you covering up sins or idols with religious practice?
Read Colossians 3:1-10. Ask yourself if your focus is on the things above, or if the negative actions and attitudes listed are present in your life, revealing a focus on the things of earth.